Today I find myself reflecting back quite a bit. Slightly more than six years ago is when I had my first miscarriage. It shook my husband and I to the core. We planned that baby and wanted one so badly to have it taken away from us almost as soon as we found out I was pregnant. Our due date was April 1, 2007. I allowed myself to get depressed. I gained weight, I just didn’t care anymore. Three months after the D&C, we tried to get pregnant again and we did. The result was the birth of our oldest son. We were so happy to finally have a baby in our arms. Yet, whenever that due date of our first baby goes by, I get into a mini-funk but I snap out of it because we do have two wonderful children.
Now, as we wait for this miscarriage to…
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Yes your baby was alive, they existed, your loss is no less significant than the loss of a child who took their first independent breath. Indeed Allah (swt) does have the best plans for us, though we may not be able to appreciate it. BUT still that does not and will never remove the grief and loss for the baby you carried inside you; whose life you had wanted and dreamed into becoming.
Regarding the loss of an unborn child, the Prophet, , said: “ By the One in Whose hand is my soul, truly the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother with its umbilical cord to Paradise, provided one expects recompense.”[Ibn Maajah and Ahmad]
Beautiful words of remembrance as excerpted from Sr Yasmin Mogahed:
“One can imagine few calamities more painful than the loss of a child. And yet, even this loss could happen to save us and give us something greater. The Prophet said, “If the child of a servant (of Allah) dies, Allah says to His angels, ‘Have you taken the child of My servant?’ The angels reply, ‘Yes.’ Allah says to them, ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ They reply, ‘Yes.’ Then Allah says to them, ‘What did My servant say?’ The angels reply, ‘He praised Allah and said ‘To Allah do we return.’ Allah tells them, ‘Build a home for My servant in Paradise and call it Baytul Hamd (the House of Praise).’ ”[Tirmidhi]
“When Allah takes something as beloved from us as a child, it may be that He has taken it in order to give us something greater. It may be because of that loss, that we are admitted into paradise — an eternal life with our child. And unlike our life here, it is an everlasting life where our child will have no pain, fear or sickness.” – Omaira Alam
In memory of my precious one who existed all of 10 weeks and 6 days – whose heart stopped 3 weeks ago today, whose death was discovered 2 weeks ago today, whose presence was removed from me 12 days ago.